After reading Larissa's
shared article on the true meaning of Lent, and this being my first Lent I thought
about it, and prayed about it. The objection for Lent is to cleanse yourself of
things that hold you back in your relationship with God. Chocolate necessarily
doesn't interfere with our relationship. I just love chocolate...like it beyond a
lot. I wanted to give up the next best thing to my kids or loved ones, that
being chocolate. Let’s face it. I'm not God. I don't have that strength to
sacrifice our son or daughter lol. Thank heavens I don't have to. So chocolate
it is!
Going back to what I ”thought” interfered with my relationship with God is the fact I feel used by certain friends and family. I don't hear from these people until they need something. They definitely don't make it a point to be in any of lives of the children in this family. It upsets me, because I love them. The kids especially love them. We were all so close at one time too :-( So as part of Lent I thought if I turned my back on these select few, not only would it make me feel better, but it would enhance mine and Gods relationship... Wait...what? How would that enhance anything? First off my relationship is mine and God's alone. There is not one human with any ability to get into the way of move and Gods relationship. I am held accountable for my own relationship, therefore common sense tells me, if no one else is going to be held accountable for me, during my judgment, how can these people be a gap in my relationship with my father? Impossible! I have to be the one to allow them to be a hindrance. Only my actions can separate my soul from salvation just like I can't be accountable for someone else’s soul. Who was I kidding?
Second turning my back just builds an even bigger gap! Not only would I isolated my values and block my Godly duties...I could ultimately destroy what could be an intended refurbished relationship. The one shot I've been praying for, and whining about. Yeah.....I'm sure I'd feel great about that, and the only thing I'd get done doing is praying for forgiveness, and again...asking for a chance to repair these relationships! Duh Amanda!
So for Lent...and to hopefully carry through... I am going to help even when I feel abused and tired. I'm going to smile even when I'm annoyed. Love even harder when I don't feel a nice bone in my body. In essence, I'll fake it til I make it! I have read I Corinthians and II Corinthians. Everything we need to know about Love, forgiveness, and duty is actually right there. Especially in the first book! I have my tools. I know my heart has a lot of love. So...here's to Lent! Here's to trying to pull myself closer to God. Happy Ash Wednesday ;-)
Going back to what I ”thought” interfered with my relationship with God is the fact I feel used by certain friends and family. I don't hear from these people until they need something. They definitely don't make it a point to be in any of lives of the children in this family. It upsets me, because I love them. The kids especially love them. We were all so close at one time too :-( So as part of Lent I thought if I turned my back on these select few, not only would it make me feel better, but it would enhance mine and Gods relationship... Wait...what? How would that enhance anything? First off my relationship is mine and God's alone. There is not one human with any ability to get into the way of move and Gods relationship. I am held accountable for my own relationship, therefore common sense tells me, if no one else is going to be held accountable for me, during my judgment, how can these people be a gap in my relationship with my father? Impossible! I have to be the one to allow them to be a hindrance. Only my actions can separate my soul from salvation just like I can't be accountable for someone else’s soul. Who was I kidding?
Second turning my back just builds an even bigger gap! Not only would I isolated my values and block my Godly duties...I could ultimately destroy what could be an intended refurbished relationship. The one shot I've been praying for, and whining about. Yeah.....I'm sure I'd feel great about that, and the only thing I'd get done doing is praying for forgiveness, and again...asking for a chance to repair these relationships! Duh Amanda!
So for Lent...and to hopefully carry through... I am going to help even when I feel abused and tired. I'm going to smile even when I'm annoyed. Love even harder when I don't feel a nice bone in my body. In essence, I'll fake it til I make it! I have read I Corinthians and II Corinthians. Everything we need to know about Love, forgiveness, and duty is actually right there. Especially in the first book! I have my tools. I know my heart has a lot of love. So...here's to Lent! Here's to trying to pull myself closer to God. Happy Ash Wednesday ;-)
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